My Triple J Hottest 100 'Shortlist'

2010 was a brilliant year for music, here's a list of all the songs that really grabbed me. I've coloured my the Top 10 red & coloured a further ten that narrowly missed the cut blue.

Shortlist

 Adrian Lux - Teenage Crime remove

 Arcade Fire - Ready To Start remove

 Art Vs. Science - Magic Fountain remove

 Bag Raiders - Way Back Home remove

 Band Of Horses - Laredo remove

 Band Of Skulls - Death By Diamonds And Pearls remove

 Bedroom Philosopher, The - Northcote (So Hungover) remove

 Ben Folds/Nick Hornby - From Above remove

 Big Boi - Shutterbugg {Ft. Cutty} remove

 Blur - Fool's Day remove

 Brandon Flowers - Crossfire remove

 Caribou - Odessa remove

 Cassius - I Love U So remove

 Children Collide - Jellylegs remove

 Chromeo - Don't Turn The Lights remove

 Cloud Control - There's Nothing In The Water We Can't Fight remove

 Cold War Kids - Audience remove

 Crystal Castles - Celestica remove

 Darwin Deez - Radar Detector remove

 Delphic - Halcyon remove

 Crystal Castles - Not In Love {Ft. Robert Smith} remove

 Gorillaz - Doncamatic {Ft. Daley} remove

 Gypsy & The Cat - Jona Vark remove

 Gypsy & The Cat - Time To Wander remove

 Hot Chip - One Life Stand remove

 Interpol - Barricade remove

 Interpol - Lights remove

 Interpol - Success remove

 Interpol - Summer Well remove

 Jonsi - Go Do remove

 Kid Cudi - Enter Galactic (Love Connection Pt. 1) remove

 Kimbra - Settle Down remove

 LCD Soundsystem - Drunk Girls remove

 LCD Soundsystem - Home remove

 LCD Soundsystem - I Can Change remove

 Metric - Eclipse (All Yours) remove

 MGMT - Brian Eno remove

 Miami Horror - Holidays {Ft. Alan Palomo} remove

 Miami Horror - I Look To You {Ft. Kimbra} remove

 Miami Horror - Moon Theory remove

 Miami Horror - Summersun remove

 My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na remove

 Naked And Famous, The - Young Blood remove

 National, The - Afraid Of Everyone remove

 National, The - Anyone's Ghost remove

 National, The - Conversation 16 remove

 Ou Est Le Swimming Pool - Dance The Way I Feel remove

 Ou Est Le Swimming Pool - Jackson's Last Stand remove

 Sia - You've Changed remove

 Soft Pack, The - Answer To Yourself remove

 Spoon - The Mystery Zone remove

 Sufjan Stevens - Vesuvius remove

 Foster The People - Pumped Up Kicks remove

 Surfer Blood - Swim remove

 Surfer Blood - Twin Peaks remove

 Tame Impala - Solitude Is Bliss remove

 Twin Shadow - Slow remove

 Two Door Cinema Club - I Can Talk remove

 Warpaint - Undertow remove

 Washington - The Hardest Part remove

 Wavves - Post Acid remove

 Wolf Gang - The King And All Of His Men remove

 Wombats, The - Tokyo (Vampires & Wolves) remove

 Yeasayer - Ambling Alp remove

 Yolanda Be Cool/DCUP - We No Speak Americano remove

The Insecurity

There is a secret wondering behind our eyes. A mind-decaying ponder. A thought-life that at first glance can seem real or righteous but in reality is a dull ache that slowly chips away at our spirits. We pretend to be solid or strong or unbreakable but in the end we all want to know “How do we really look to the people we love?”

I am constantly re-evaluating who I am, what I believe, what is morally courageous and upright. I wonder: Do I fit in? Am I unique enough? Is the person I see in the mirror the person everyone else sees? What do I project? Does my brain lie about the man in the mirror? I think about that every day.

I find myself trying to change for the better. I dig for compliments in conversations – a secret questionnaire. I am compiling a list of things I do not need to change, and the list is short. I have almost convinced myself that my constant need to check my own physical reflection is because I dislike the way I look, certainly not because I need to see how perfect I am. For some reason I find self-hatred a virtue. I continuously forget that my quest for self-improvement is both hopelessly vain and immensely insecure. 

The clothing I wear, the music I listen to, the leisure I live for and the pursuit of the image I try to project cost more money than I’d like to admit. In fact I think the ratio of money I spend on myself:people (including close friends) would be close to 100:1. Sometimes just the thought of a potential relationship or ensuing heartbreak has stopped my brain from even wanting to think about other people for months on end.

I guess what I am trying to say is that although I strive for a multitude of honourable virtues, this quiet questioning indicates that I’m incredibly self-absorbed. I am certainly not the humble servant I make a lame effort to project.

My hope however, is that as I bring this all to the surface and confess the things in my life that I just do not feel right about, that God (yes, God) will deal with my inadequacies. I’m on a journey. Life is an adventure. Our stories involve such complicated plot twists but through it all we are promised a counsellor with whom to place our trust, and we have to.

I have only recently had the revelation of how much people truly need their friends and community. Love is everything. To put it plainly, friends desperately need your love...and they need it despite your hang ups. So this year my new year’s resolution was to “be more compassionate”. A noble but completely unmeasurable goal, I admit – but it was something to work on all the same. I think that if I’m ever to achieve my goal I have to stop wondering what other people think and just be the person I’m called to be. 

Maybe a first impression is not everything. A person can completely change once you have spoken to them, as opposed to just sighting them from across the room. I am learning more everyday that people do not love me because of the way I look, the way I dress, the car I drive, the music I listen to, the brands I endorse or the community in which I live. At the end of the day people simply love me because I love them... and the source of that love? Well that’s another conversation...